I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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