He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
