you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize