HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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