dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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