so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
