I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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