chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
