whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
