i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
