O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize