The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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