I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
