Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I supernannyed him into submission
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
