Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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