new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
