is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Help. Why am I so naked?
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