Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
