Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
