Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
