You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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