I feel like I'm in dance class right now
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I would fuck him just for his dog
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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