If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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