I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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