He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
