Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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