it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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