I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
