Already got asked if we're dating
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
