She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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