pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love having hate sex.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
