I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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