she smelled like a LAN party
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
