What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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