talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
