By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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