margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
