I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
