Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize