we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize