ugly people sure do ruin things
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
