Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
