if you like me you must not know who I am
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
