The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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