After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
