You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
