just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
