we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
