What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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