forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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