I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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