Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize