Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
