Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
