I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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