Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
