If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
