i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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