she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize