I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize