***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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