Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
