I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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