I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
