Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
