Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize