the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
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