I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize