New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
