I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
