i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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