she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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