you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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