I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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