so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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